AI – coming soon
Big data – the art of diluting useful information with large amounts of needlessly collected data until it no longer fits into a single Excel document. Requires highly-paid experts with specialist systems to access your information.
blockchain – a creative use of cryptography with no known practical applications. Frequently deployed to attract naive investors with limited technical knowledge.
cloud – a fluffy marketing term to cloud the fact that you are paying a premium to rent someone else's computer
cloud hosting – a recent reband of shared hosting to make it more palatable to businesses which traditionally liked to avoid any risk of sharing their sensitive information with others
cryptocurrency – a pretend replacement for real money which promotes climate change and causes hardware shortages, popular with ransomware scammers and libertarians
Facebook – a convenient one-stop online portal to submit your personal information to advertisers, intelligence agencies, and stalkers
NFT – a Ponzi scheme which typically uses a blockchain and drawings of apes to distract potential victims.
SaaS – like ordinary software, but you pay the vendor a monthly ransom. Expect regular price increases until the day your access to the software is unilaterally discontinued. Some more benevolent vendors may give you advance notice and generously allow you to keep your data.
VPN – a service which allows you to hide what you get up to on the Internet from your trusted local ISP and share it with shady foreign organizations instead.
VR – expensive 3D glasses